The Special Needs Family

There are several kinds of families in our crazy world. Regular ones (as if there was such a thing), blended ones (steps, adopted and half’s), and Special needs ones.

My family is typical, (according to national surveys one out of 5 children has some sort of special need) we are a blended family of special needs people. As I meet and talk to people every day, and the more I am exposed to new people, the more I realize that all families have different needs. But the one recurring need I find is the lack of help for families with Special Needs Children.

I started my quest for help almost 20 years ago when my first born just didn’t seem right. Years of telling bored pediatricians who wouldn’t listen that my son had problems were always answered with statements like;  “look how gorgeous he is”, or “ look at that smile” or the worst one yet… “He fits all within normal range on the charts”.

As my daily fight and quest for help and answers is now entering its 20^th year, I have found one thing consistent and one thing never ending. Consistently, I am blown away (even 20 years later) by the lack of an organized system of caring resources, with a tangible referral system.  The never-ending thing is my drive and quest for the ability to help my special needs children and now all those of you walking the same shoes.

In my amazing home of organized chaos (as I love to call it), I have 4 special needs children and an adult Eh sibling. It’s like Eight is enough all with issues. But what my family all has in common is that everyone is different. We acknowledge that we all function differently and we just choose to make it work. Yes there is an Emotional Handicapped adult, an OCD and depressed teenager, a Bi Polar and Autistic preteen, an  ADD pre teen  and a high schooler with a severe processing delay, but what there really is, are 4 loud and hungry boys, a caring EH adult and 2 loving stressed out parents with A HUGE COSTCO BILL.

What makes the special needs family work is understanding, compassion and humor. Teaching by example to all those you come in contact with understanding what someone’s strengths and weakness are, and setting expectations based on their ability and not your parents and society’s expectations. How we deal with our special needs children is our very special gift.

Stephanie Haber